Encouraging Your Kid To Go To Camp
Every year, there’s a moment when parents start wrestling with the same question: “Should we send our kid to camp?”
I get it. For some families, it’s the money. For others, it’s anxiety about being away from home. Some students are excited immediately. Others fight it every step of the way. Some parents are worried their child won’t know anyone. Others are nervous about phones being gone for a week. And honestly…some families just wonder if camp is really worth the hassle.
After years in student ministry, I can tell you this confidently: Camp is one of the most spiritually significant environments many students will ever experience. Not because camp is magical or because emotional moments automatically create lasting faith. And not because a week away suddenly fixes everything.
Camp matters because it removes distractions and creates space for growth. Here are a couple things that happen at camp that make it a game-changer for your kids:
Camp Creates Space for Spiritual GrowthCamp Accelerates Friendships and CommunityCamp Helps Students Grow Emotionally
When parents think about camp, it’s easy to focus on the logistics: cost, schedules, packing lists, transportation, time away
But the bigger picture matters. Camp is an investment into your student’s spiritual life, emotional maturity, and relationships. Very few environments give students this kind of concentrated opportunity for growth. Years later, most students won’t remember every sermon.
But they will remember: the friendships, the leaders who cared about them, the moment faith became real, and the memories! And those moments can shape a life.
Don’t Let Your Family Drift This Spring
Spring has a funny way of testing our priorities.
The weather improves. Sports ramp up. School events multiply. Vacations get scheduled. Before long, church can slowly slide from “non-negotiable” to “if we can make it.” No one intends for it to happen. It just does. It’s a drift that we don’t see as an issue because there are no immediate consequences (or so it seems).
Here’s what I’ve learned over the last couple of decades in student ministry. At first, that 1% drift doesn’t yield any immediate consequences. But over time, the distance grows from inches to miles. And here’s what I want to say as your Student Minister: this season matters more than you think it does. Your teenager is being discipled every single day. By friends, coaches, culture, algorithms, teachers, and the rest of the world. The question isn’t whether they’re being formed. The question is, "Who is forming them most?"
When church becomes optional, the message is subtle but powerful: church is important…as long as something else isn’t going on.
That may sound strong, but I say it because I love your family and I know how formative these years are. I promise I’m not trying to heap on the guilt or be legalistic. I just want to give us a gentle nudge back toward the commitments we once made.
Hebrews 10:24-25 reminds us to, "consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."
Here are a few practical ways that Scripture can play out with your kids:
Put church on the calendar before everything else. Prioritizing church means Sundays are vital. Our calendars prove that we mean it.
Talk about church like it matters. If the church has positively impacted you, share it with your kids. Show them it matters to you, too.
Protect consistency in student ministry. Relationships are key to students' growth.
Debrief after church. Ask one simple question on the drive home: “What stood out to you today?” It communicates that what happened in that room matters in real life.
There will always be another reason to skip. But there will never be another version of your child at this exact age, in this exact season, with this exact openness to spiritual formation. Let’s grab hold of that steering wheel again. Our kids are worth it!
Keep going!
mc
Parents Can’t Outsource THIS Conversation
In this clip, Ricky Chelette makes a simple but important point: parents do not need to outsource conversations about sexuality. The church doesn't either.
Parents and youth pastors, we cannot assume someone else is going to frame these discussions in a healthy, biblical way. Our kids are being taught in schools, by social media, by the culture, and by their friends. We ought to step in and help to frame it all with a biblical lens.
Let's be less worried about culture wars and more focused on leading our kids well. And sexual education is a big part of that!
What This Lawsuit Teaches Us About Social Media
You might have read in the news that there was a lawsuit including Meta and YouTube. They lost a landmark court case alleging that they have been negligent in using addictive formats and that teenagers have paid the price. The plaintiff, 20-year-old Kaley G.M., accused them of creating products that are as addictive as cigarettes or casinos.
You might also know that Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued a warning in 2023 that parents should restrict social media use for their children until age 14 at the absolute earliest. Might I suggest that your child's 14th birthday isn't day one for social media, either. In my humble opinion, social media and technology are one of the major contributing factors to the spike in anxiety and depression we see in this generation.
None of us are surprised. So why am I writing about it?
I have been thankful to be a part of a community of families who have rightly recognized the inherent danger of handing our kids the whole internet too early. Years ago, I used to be friends with all the students on Facebook, Instagram, or MySpace (yep). I used to have a platform to directly communicate with all of my students, but it's not that way anymore, and for good reason! Times have changed, and parents are making wise decisions for their kids' health. But that doesn't mean your kids stopped putting pressure on you.
Your teenager is being shaped every day by what they watch, what they laugh at, and what they compare themselves to. The algorithm is very good at what it does. It is consistent, personalized, and emotionally engaging. It never gets tired, and it never stops paying attention to what captures theirs. But this doesn’t mean parents are powerless. It simply means the method has to shift. We are not called to out-control the algorithm. We are called to out-disciple it.
What can families do to create healthy technological rhythms in their family?
Hold the line on your convictions. Now is not the time to be their friend and cave into their desires. Let go of the idea that your kids will thank you for giving them boundaries. You know that God has called you to lead in your home. Don't let up.
Keep a laser focus on the effects of technology and media in your home. Lean in when necessary. Do a digital fast for your home if need be. Don't be afraid to add restrictions when you see the strain.
Don't underestimate your influence. They might not appreciate it now or even look like they care. Do you remember what it was like to be a teenager? You didn't appreciate it either (at least you didn't then). Maybe the best thing for you to do is to help them understand the why behind the boundaries.
Recently, when considering a personal parenting decision, I had a clarifying thought: picture yourself in ten years with the regret of wishing you had done something different. That burst of clarity led me to grab the bull by the horns and get in the game in a way that I wasn't just days earlier. You are in that season right now! So, get creative and get in the fight. Now is the time when those big decisions are being made. It may not be easy, but it's worth it!
Keep going!
mc
Youth Group Kids Have A Sneaky Advantage
Recently, Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, was interviewed on The Daily Show. He shared some of the basic points of his book (mainly, that we are over-protecting our kids in the "offline world" and under-protecting our kids in the "virtual world." He talks a great deal about what happened in this generation to bring such anxiety and depression into the mix.
One of the surprising things he mentioned is that religious kids often show greater resilience and struggle less because of the socialization and support that comes with church/youth group attendance. In his own words, he says, "religious kids were always happier than the secular kids, but what happens after 2012, it's quite remarkable in all the graphs, the religious kids get a little more anxious and depressed, but the secular kids get much more anxious and depressed. So, what I'm saying is, especially if you're an atheist, you're going to have to work much harder, you're going to have to be much more intentional about rooting your kid in stable social relationships..."
Did I mention Jonathan Haidt is an atheist?
Parents, that should encourage us! Church involvement is not just one more extracurricular activity competing for space on the calendar. It is formation.
When your family prioritizes church, you are doing more than attending a service. You are placing your child in a network of relationships where caring adults know their name, notice their struggles, and reinforce the truths you are teaching at home. You are helping them practice life with real people in real life. You are giving them rhythms of worship in a culture of distraction. You are showing them that faith is not a private hobby but a healthy priority.
Think about what students gain in a healthy church community:
Friends who share their values
Trusted adults beyond mom and dad
Opportunities to serve instead of constantly consuming
Conversations that move deeper than surface-level social media chatter
A place where identity is rooted in Christ, not performance
Does church solve every problem? Of course not. Youth group isn't magic. But it is one of God’s ordinary means of grace for shaping young people.
So here is the encouragement: let's help our kids to prioritize church engagement as we step into summer. Might I suggest camps and mission trips are the perfect way to do that!
Keep going!
mc
When God Asks You A Question
Isn’t it interesting how God asks questions?
When Adam and Eve sinned by eating the fruit, God follows up with four questions. It’s not that He doesn’t know the answers. But these questions cut to the heart of what He cares about.
Where are you?
Who told you that you were naked?
Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?
What is this that you have done?
Hindsight is 20/20, and we know that God has spent millennia guiding us toward the answers and guiding us back home.
[Genesis 3:9-13]
Cox Fam // 2017
As I get older, I'm growing more and more aware that my memory is foggier and foggier. So I keep the camera out as much as possible. And every year, I compile a January to December video and edit it down so we can get a quick glimpse into what the year looked like.
In our home, we actually end up watching them often. It keeps us connected to where we've been, how we've grown and what all we've experienced. Watching these movies, for me, is one of the great reminders of what is most important in life: my family.
It's not professional, but it's us. And I love us!
How To Hear God's Voice
We all want to hear God's voice, but so few claim to have experienced it.
Scripture speaks to this, but it's not merely a formula to follow. We have to pour ourselves out at the altar of our Heavenly Father. We have to eliminate the distractions in our life.
How do we hear God's voice? I hope this clip encourages you!
Kristin's Story
I was so thankful that Kristin was brave enough to share her story with us at Access Church! It's a story of someone who has wrestled with addiction and found Jesus on the other end as a faithful friend and rescuer! I hope this story encourages you today!
Helpless But Not Hopeless
Man! This clip is so powerful. Harley was teaching through Ephesians 2 about how much we needed God to bring us new life! I hope this encourages you today!
A Guideline For Fasting
Our church is beginning a season of prayer and fasting. Fasting isn't uncommon in church history but has grown out of the rhythms of Christ-followers in our day. For that reason, we don't want to enter into a season of fasting unaware of the significance of it.
Why Do We Fast?
A season of fasting is usually associated with significant prayer requests or simply a season of desperate need. We pray on behalf of our needs and on behalf of others. While we don't believe we are manipulating God's hand, there are moments in Scripture in which it seems that the desperate prayers of devoted Christ-followers change the course of history. At the end of the day, we fast because we want more of God, whether He answers our prayers or not.
Is It Safe To Fast?
Fasting is practiced among many people from different backgrounds in faith and health. I would never suggest fasting without consulting medical professionals. I can, however, say that I have fasted for different amounts of times and from different things. I have never finished a season of fasting without truly encountering the supernatural power of God! But please consider your health in the process.
What Are Different Ways To Fast
While the idea of fasting brings up the image of going without food, there are many methods of fasting. Several of the books I list below explains the different types exhaustively. I've known people to fast from sugar, social media, TV or other elements of our lives. As far as food goes, I've seen people fast during a specific meal every day for a certain amount of time or fast once a week for a specific season. There are many different food-based fasts listed in Elmer Towns' book listed below; most popular is the Daniel Fast (also described in Warren's book). The Daniel fast is described in the first chapter of the Book of Daniel (only fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and whole grains). Then, obviously, there are those who will do a water fast, forgoing food for a specific amount of time. It is crucial that those who do a water fast get plenty of water (more than you would normally drink).
Regardless of the type of fast, you should use your season of fasting as a time to really lean into your relationship with God. If you're fasting lunches, use that time to spend time with God in prayer or reading the Bible. Have a plan for Scripture reading and dive all the way in. Journal what you're learning (you're going to want to look back on these moments...I promise). Make the intentional decision to say no to TV, video games, or scrolling through your phone so that you can bank more time with God. Fasting is NOT simply a challenge to not eat. Sitting on the couch miserably hungry without spending time on your knees in prayer is nothing more than a natural challenge. If you want God to truly speak, make it a point to devote yourself fully to spending time with Him! I think of it like football teams getting ready for the season. They'll do two-a-days during those grueling, hot, summer days to get ready to accomplish their mission. For this season of fasting, I'm changing my daily routine up to free more space for worship and prayer.
We must make sure that we are entering our season of fasting with the right motivation. First, I believe God must be calling us to this season. Without His supernatural provision, this can be a dangerous act. Secondly, we have to lay all of our motivations on the altar. It can't be about manipulating God or the appearance of spiritual piety (Matthew 6:16-18). Jesus tells us that our spiritual disciplines are most effective in a secret, quiet place. Those who desire to be seen have their reward. In the passage above, Jesus warns us not to practice our spirituality in public. For this reason, those who fast are expected to keep it to themselves as much as possible. I'd like to suggest that this is a matter of the heart. At this point, it's very difficult to fast without the people around you knowing. They might ask why you're forgoing food or not posting on social media as much. I believe it's ok to answer honestly and humbly. Again, it's a matter of the heart: if you make it about you, you have your reward. But if you are motivated by your worship, sometimes you'll be called on to speak to what you're doing. Don't make it weird by avoiding the question...just speak to the spiritual practice you're involved in.
Lastly, we have to enter a season of fasting with a desire to be true to the spirit of the fast rather than legalism. While it's important to commit to a specific type of fast, we have to keep health and rhythms into account. For instance, a water fast is going to leave you with some pretty bad breath. If you're walking into a meeting, I wouldn't fault you for grabbing a piece of gum. For me, I will have a cup of coffee every day during a water fast. I don't think God is going to withhold blessing for a little caffeine. If I have a change of mind or a conviction another way, I'll change it up. Until then, pass the coffee! If I'm doing a social media fast, I won't turn my phone off for that period of time. I obviously need my phone for moments of emergency, for family communication and for my job. One of the reasons I don't usually do social media fasts is that its part of my job. If I felt called to do one, though, I would immediately. My point is this: fasting isn't about following someone else's rules or convictions. It's about saying no to the natural so we can say yes to the supernatural. It's about devotion to Jesus!
A Personal Note
Before I felt like God was asking me to declare a fast for our church, I felt like He was asking me to do this personally. Pastors aren't exempt from the troubles of this world or the need to be devoted to spiritual disciplines. I am in a season of desperate prayer for God to move! My posture toward these prayer requests is one of complete submission; if He chooses to move supernaturally, I'll be thankful. If this time leaves me with a closer relationship with Him but without answers to my prayers, I'll be thankful.
At the end of the day, I want to make sure that I do everything possible to hear the voice of the God who loves me so much. I can so easily get wrapped up in what this world has to offer. Honestly, I fear that I'm deafened to the voice of God in seasons where I'm not fasting because of the steady stream of media in my life. Sometimes, fasting shows us that we can live differently year-round (and that we should). My friend and mentor, Pastor Travis Davenport, has said that once you experience God in a supernatural way during an extended fast, you actually want to fast all the time. The way you experience God during those seasons is like no other! Now that I've experienced one of these extended fasts with him, I see what he means. There's just something different about it that is a rush of pure joy!
If you're the praying type, I'd encourage you to pray with us! We'll be posting what we're learning and experiencing on social media with the #AccessTogether hashtag. If you have prayer requests, send them along and we'll commit to praying with you!
Fasting Resources
Here are a few resources that have helped me prepare and thrive during my fasts.
Elmer Towns: Fasting For Spiritual Breakthrough
Elmer Towns: Fasting For A Miracle
Ronnie Floyd: The Power Of Prayer And Fasting
20 Great Conversation-Starters For Your Kids
In a previous post, I wrote about how we should ask our kids better questions. One of my suggestions was to play "would you rather" with your kids. I found that you can learn a lot more than you would think simply by switching up your questions.
The goal is to get down to the reasons why they choose what they choose. You might just learn a little bit about your kids' motivations, fears, and/or dreams!
Here are 20 questions I tried on my kids. Try these on your kids next time you're around the dinner table for a memorable experience! As you may be able to tell, I only have boys, so that's why my questions are geared that way.
Would you rather live without arms or legs?
If you could only have one for the rest of your life, would you pick Skittles or M&M's?
Would you rather be a baseball player or an astronaut?
Would you rather be able to run faster than anyone else or be able to fly?
Would you rather be the best player on the worst team or the worst player on the best team?
Would you rather play games with friends or a game on the iPad?
Would you rather be really smart or really athletic?
- Would you rather have a racecar or a helicopter?
Would you rather be a shark or a lion?
Would you rather be very rich, yet without friends or be very poor, but you have a lot of good friends?
- Would you rather lose your sense of sight or your sense of taste?
Would you rather be really cold or really hot?
Would you rather go to the beach and swim in the ocean for vacation or go to the biggest toy store in the world and get to pick ten toys?
Would you rather have a huge TV all to yourself or a motorized scooter just for you?
Would you rather have 10 brothers or 10 sisters?
Would you rather be the hero or the villain in a movie?
Would you rather live in a zoo or a theme park?
Would you rather have a jetpack or super strong muscles?
Would you rather you never have to take a bath again or never have to brush your teeth again?
Would you rather read a book or watch a movie?
Obviously, these questions may not make sense for your kids. What are some conversation-starters that would make sense for your family?
Ria's Story
One of the things I love about our church is that we're all in this together.
Ria and her family have had a full year! In the midst of job changes and a wedding, Ria was able to have some special conversations with her son, Kyle. In this video, Ria talks about the privilege she had to lead Kyle to the Lord!
Kipton's Baptism Story
Where do I begin?
I've been praying for the Lord to work in this boy's heart ever since he found out Christi was pregnant! It's a scary thing being a parent. Maybe the scariest thing.
You wonder if you're going to be everything they need...if you're enough. I distinctly remember singing to Kipton before I put him to sleep one night, when I had a "God moment." I believe God spoke to me as I was singing/praying over him. I believe God told me that, even though the world around me seemed to be unstable, that He would take care of Kipton.
In that moment, I didn't believe that we were going to be rich or even happy all the time. I just knew that He would show Kipton how good He is and that He would invite my son into an eternal friendship with the God that loves him so much!
So when Kipton started to ask us questions about God, Jesus, the Bible, Heaven, Hell, the bad things that happen in this world, we knew God was beginning to fulfill that promise! It has been such a joy and honor to be this boy's dad! God is good!
Ashlee's Baptism Story
I have been so encouraged to hear the stories of how members of our church are showing love to each other, bearing each other's burdens and building each other up!
One of the ways I've seen this happen recently is in Ashlee's life. She shared about how she has gone to church her whole life, but that her relationship with God has grown so much in recent because of the influence of some of her friends at Access.
This is amazing! It's a testimony to God's grace and how He is building His church! I wanted to share her story with you and hope it encourages you today!
Judy's Story
In the journey of church planting, you get to meet some pretty incredible people.
Judy is one of those people.
Since I met her, she has been so encouraging and sweet! She has a passion for the Word and everyone around her. That was evident as she would share what she learns in Scripture at our small group.
I'm so thankful to have met Judy! Since we shot this video, Judy moved out of state, which has left us with a bittersweet feeling of sadness that she moved, but joy that we had the short time that we did!
I asked Judy to share the story of how she came to know the Lord and how she's grown to know Him. I hope her story encourages you today!
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3 Podcasts You Should Check Out [October 2017]
I've been listening to podcasts since Apple started rolling them out. I listen mostly while I'm driving, washing dishes, or mowing the lawn. I've always enjoyed listening to podcasts that relate to my work (church leadership, youth ministry, church planting, etc.), but in the last few years, I've stumbled upon a few great podcasts that branch out.
The Leadership Unstuck Podcast with Tony Morgan - Tony has a rich history in resourcing church leaders. This latest endeavor is a podcast that specializes in helping churches get unstuck. He brings on guests that will help you learn from their mistakes. Great listen for church leaders!
Exponential Podcast - The Exponential Conference was instrumental in the story of Access Church! With so many great leaders who are actually practitioners, this podcast shares talks from past conferences/events. This is one of the most practical podcasts for church planters!
Paul Tripp - Sermon Podcast - Paul is a pastor, author and conference speaker. He's a tremendous Bible teacher, so this is a must-have! I know this is an audio podcast, but he has an awesome mustache, too! So that's neat.
4 Parenting Shifts I'm Currently Making
Seven years ago, we had a baby boy. We brought him home and figured out what life looked like with a newborn in the house. Everything changed. As he grew, life in our house shifted. The rules changed. We added a second baby to the mix. Two kids. Different ages. Different rules. Then three kids. All boys. All new rules. The boy who was once a baby was 7 all of a sudden.
The rhythms and rules for a newborn are so different than a 7-year old. So we've shifted a few things. Here are a few of them:
1. Embrace the word, "no." For a while, we bent our will to make it "work" (whatever It is). Choosing your battles is wise to be certain. But I've found myself bending on rules I shouldn't. Usually, this comes down to one thing in my life: laziness. I make a stand. My kids rebel. I don't want to deal with it. So I cave.
But I've learned that my kids actually want the boundaries. I tend to think that I'm a buzzkill every time I say no, but that's not the case. Boundaries communicate care. I try to make sure my kids know the "why" behind the no. I could settle for "because I told you so," but then I'd be implementing purposeless decision-making and I don't want my kids to pick that up. I certainly don't want that to be my legacy. By the way, I'm not a saint. I've used that line plenty of times. My point in writing this is that I'm learning!
2. Parent NOW for LATER. Six years ago, we had a one-year-old. As long as he was safe and inside our four walls, there weren't many rules. It was cute when he was loud (hard to remember). It was cool when he threw things. I had dreams of him being a major league baseball player. And then we took him to the restaurant and he threw a cheddar biscuit across the room. Not cool, dude.
I learned early on that we have to parent for LATER. What works inside my home doesn't work at the restaurant, at school, or at church. What do I want them to act like in public? Set that standard at home. I know this is elementary and not new to anyone. But i've learned that sometimes my kids act up in public because I've allowed it at home. It's cute at home. Forgivable. But those kids grow up and act up at their job. Is it getting more real yet? Parent NOW for LATER.
3. Ask better questions. A few days ago, we took the boys swimming. Every two hours, there's a 10-minute break. Usually, we'll use this time to eat a packed lunch, but this was afternoon and I decided we'd switch it up. I started to play "Would You Rather" with the boys and it ended up being the quickest break time ever!
Do you know the best part of playing "Would You Rather" with your kids? You can get to the foundational layer of your kids thought processes. We know they like a certain super hero, their favorite meal for dinner or a certain movie. But do we know why? If you want to parent your kids well, this is an invaluable tool to get inside their heads.
We all know what it's like to ask a child how school was. "Good." If we want to get down to the core of who our kids are, we have to pioneer their minds. We have to learn how to explore their motivations, fears, stresses, and what makes them tick.
In a future blog post, I'll share some of the questions I asked my kids to spark some ideas.
4. Schedule "boredom" time. We're parenting kids in the age of devices. It's a help and a hindrance at times. I don't think we fully know how our kids will be affected by this cultural swing. My youngest was born in 2010. He doesn't know what it's like to live in a world without phones and tablets...or even dial-up for Pete's sake!
I know that I can buy some time with the screens. I know my kids can be quiet at a restaurant if they're playing games on my phone. But I have seen my kids' imagination light up when there's nothing to do but create some sort of game! My 7-year old is super creative. Given the tools and scheduled boredom time, he will naturally drift to his artistic side.
What's most interesting about this for me is that it links up with the spiritual discipline of meditation for me. As a 34-year-old, I'm trying to make sure that I schedule 30 minutes of quiet every day. This most likely happens on my back porch, at my kitchen table or walking in my neighborhood. This isn't time for me to work or even clear my head. It's a time for me to decompress, debrief, be thankful, and dream. This isn't prayer time; there's a separate time for that. This is time for me to be quiet. My kids would call it scheduled boredom time (it doesn't look like fun to a 5-year-old). But I am never healthier than when I allow my mind and heart time to slow down.
What are you learning in parenting?
Britni's Story
If you have friends who have adopted, you know there is a love they feel for their kids that is hard to describe.
This week at Access Church, one of my friends, Britni, told the story about how she grew up in the foster care system. Some of the details were hard to hear: how many homes she was in, how most of the homes were abusive, how she never felt she would end up in a forever home. It was incredible to hear her perspective!
I am so proud of Britni for sharing her story! It takes a lot of boldness to step up and tell people about the struggles you've walked through. But she's right! God is so faithful to work through our darkest moments, especially when those moments were pointing to Him all along.
I hope this encourages you today!
Volunteer Training with Dave McClung
A little while ago, we had our first volunteer appreciation night and it was such a refresher! We enjoyed a meal together, caught up with each other, and enjoyed some training from my friend and mentor, Dave McClung.
Dave has been involved at the core of a church plant and has been coaching planters ever since. He has so much invaluable wisdom to offer and we were excited to have him!
We stuck a camera in the back of the room so we could re-watch it later. Here it is!